I have to stay up for Kyle because he’s stressed and I have to make sure he’s alright so this will keep me awake

A. WHY MY LAST RELATIONSHIP ENDED.
Uh, he was more interested in someone else and we kind of just drifted apart.

B. FAVORITE BAND.
Gaslight Anthem, Blink-182, Streetlight Manifesto, Sublime, and other stuff.

C. WHO I LIKE AND WHY I LIKE THEM.
I like Eric because he’s hard working and funny and loving and weird and polite and makes me happy. He also is kind to me. He’s just a good person.

D. HARDEST THING I’VE EVER BEEN THROUGH.
Every time I tried to stop living and the weeks both before and after.

E. MY BEST FRIEND.
I have a few. Eric is my best friend because he’s like my rock. Lisa I can tell anything to and I trust her with my life. Kyle just cares about me so much and makes me really happy.

F. MY FAVOURITE MOVIE.
Bruce Almighty is the most recent one I’ve watched so that one.

G. SEXUAL ORIENTATION.
Straight

H. DO I SMOKE/DRINK?
Yes to both.

I. HAVE ANY TATTOOS OR PIERCINGS?
My ears are pierced once. I want more ear piercings as well as at least one tattoo

J. WHAT I WANT TO BE WHEN I GET OLDER.
A physical therapist. Maybe something else. Something in the medical field.

K. RELATIONSHIP WITH MY PARENTS.
I love them but they make me upset and stressed out really often.

L. ONE OF MY INSECURITIES.
My weight. This gets to me omg my stomach and arms and thighs just make me sad

M. VIRGIN OR NOT?
No

N. FAVOURITE PLACE TO SHOP AT?
Uh, I don’t know.

O. MY EYE COLOUR.
Hazel

P. WHY I HATE SCHOOL.
I used to get bullied a lot so walking in between classes alone makes me super scared.

Q. RELATIONSHIP STATUS AS OF RIGHT NOW.
Dating someone

R. FAVOURITE SONG AT THE MOMENT.
Skyscraper by Streetlight Manifesto

S. A RANDOM FACT ABOUT MYSELF.
I love Harry Potter and have read the series like five times (on my sixth I believe).

T. AGE I GET MISTAKEN FOR.
18

U. WHERE I WANT TO BE RIGHT NOW.
Helping Kyle feel less stressed or in bed with Eric.

V. LAST TIME I CRIED.
I don’t remember to be honest.

W. CONCERTS I’VE BEEN TO.
Warped Tour 2012, Dropkick Murphys 2014, All Time Low 2012

X. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF (…)?
Oops

Y. DO YOU WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE.
Yes. And medical school.

Z. HOW ARE YOU?
Mentally exhausted.

Tomorrow is the last first day of childhood.

i.
it’s december. it’s not the first time we’ve met
but this time is different. we sit in the back of a car
with our heads close together like we’re alone
even though our friends are right there. you
kiss me in public and i think of you in words
like want and keep and distance. unrealistic.

ii.
it’s january. you touch my cheek and say
this is exactly where your dimple is and i feel full
of light and fervor. i tell you: don’t fall for
anyone cooler than me this semester. i get
on a train back to new york, a plane to
heathrow. we both look back.

iii.
it’s february and you never call when you say
you will. we talk in circles all the time about
how much we like each other and how far away
we are and how much we like each other. we both
kiss other people and don’t mention it. i wait up
for you. lose sleep.

iv.
it’s march, and maybe there’s nothing left
to walk away from. i walk away anyway.

v.
april showers bring may flowers. in my sleep
i start taking the petals off one by one, but it’s never
loves me, loves me not. it’s always loves her.
loves her not.

vi.
my best friend tells me the idea of having sex with
strangers is very unappealing to you right now. we both
come home in may and you start talking to me again.
you say, i didn’t meet anyone cooler than you all semester.

vii.
june and we kiss all over the city. no place
is safe from us. twice you tell me
we should just be friends.
twice it doesn’t stick.

viii.
in july you make plans to go halfway across
the world. you say you need a break from
romance. i tell you, be safe out there. i say,
don’t forget to change your contacts.

ix.
august in china is brutal. you text me, drunk out
of your mind, telling me you’re lonely. we’re friends
again, so i’m not allowed to mention how i can’t stop
writing poems about you. you tell me about all
the american things you miss. i don’t make the list.

x.
once, you sat right next to me as i wrote you
a postcard that said: no matter what happens,
i don’t regret what we did. i still mean it.
j.c., maybe i should hate you for this (via ecritio)